The Concept of Half-X
How to find your way toward what's next
Midlife has its own set of reflections, challenges, and dare I say budding ambitions. I am a ‘GenXer’ and as the child of ‘Baby Boomers’1 I grew up with the understanding that you found a career and you stayed with it for your working lifetime. That view has changed over the years, but that is not my story…yet.
Right out of college, B and I moved to Las Vegas, where he was offered his first position and I got a job at a bank (I come from a long line of people in finance), in the seven years that followed, I advanced to a Private Banking Officer and then shook things up entirely by getting my real estate brokers license while I was working on my MBA. At that time in Las Vegas, the real estate boom was real!
When it came down to doing my master’s thesis, I shifted again. I created a business plan for building a Veterinary Hospital from the ground up. For those of you who are new here or don’t know, B is a Veterinarian. Actualizing my business plan was difficult in Las Vegas, as all the land was mostly owned by a few corporations, and trying to get land and not just lease a ‘vanilla shell’ was virtually impossible. So we began to look further abroad and ultimately found a practice for sale in Southeast Wisconsin. Though gutted to move so far away from family, we wanted to raise our future kids in the Midwest, and we jumped into the opportunity as only young and motivated people can, with both feet. That was in 2001, and we moved when our firstborn was 6 weeks old.
I guess you could say I had already bucked the role I thought would be my working life once between 1994 and 2001, but then I settled into our business and have been here for 23 years. With middle age I am shifting again, contemplating things like ‘exit strategies’ and ‘nexts’. I’m a voracious reader and came across a concept in Kokoro that resonated with me.
han-X, which translates as ‘half-agriculture, half-X,’ the X being ‘something else.’
‘It’s about building a sustainable lifestyle which includes some growing—which might be cultivating a rice field, or it might be ripening tomatoes on the windowsill of your apartment—and building that out with your specific gifts and skills. Tending to something is good for us humans. It can be an important part of cultivating your own life. And you don’t have to do the same thing forever. Do what is interesting for as long as it is interesting, and then ease into other things. Try to find your life’s theme, and then explore the different expressions of that.’
Excerpt from Kokoro by
This appealed on many levels. The example above is in agriculture and 17 years in on our homestead that hit home. We now have an exit strategy for our business planned and will be heading into the next phase in 4 to 5 years. That leads to the question what’s next?
I love the imagery of ‘cultivating your own life.’ So many of my life experiences have dovetailed into one another. My writing is part of whatever life presents going forward, and I have spent years volunteering for organizations and advocating for mental health. We love growing our own on our homestead, preserving food, and cooking. One dream early on was that I would go into nursing. As a young college student, though I had the desire, I did not think I could handle the blood! As a result, I majored in Psychology with the end thought being to help others. As I observed B in his final year of veterinary rotations and subsequently assisted him with patients, I learned that that was not so much an issue for me now. I can place a catheter or draw blood and am not the least bit squeamish at this point 😆
The last 12 months of assisting in caring for both B’s and my moms while they fought against and succumbed to sudden illnesses, moved me deeply. Being able to advocate for them, translate what the doctors were saying in lay terms, and assist the nurses with their care was an absolute honor and I will cherish that time even with its heartache forever. One afternoon, my mom said “You’re really good at this, you should go back and become a nurse” I told her, “Mom, I’m too old to start again!” She said, “You’re never too old.” A nurse at my mom’s hospital had even wanted to offer me a job! So, my mind goes to this, could it be my next phase? Do I have the energy to start again in this way? The need is great in elder rehab and home hospice care, could that be my future? I guess you could say I’m “exploring the expressions” of my life’s theme and finding rich possibilities ahead, and cultivating the future will take time and care just as it does when we coax our seedlings through growth to their inevitable harvest.
What are your thoughts on the next phases? Are you a mom whose kids are just ready to head to school? An empty nester like me? Are you looking for a change or happy right where you are? There are no right answers, just curious if others are also looking at the Half-X…something else.
Until Next Time,
Part of
24 essays club.“Boomers entered a company and were expected to pay their dues in order to move forward. The understanding was if they worked hard for the company for several years, and the company benefited from their work, they’d be rewarded with pay raises and promotions. If they stayed with the company long enough, they’d have a pension and a 401K.” Forbes Magazine