Traditions Anew
changing holidays after loss
“Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious.” - Mary Oliver
The last couple of years have undergone a significant transformation in how our family celebrates Christmas. Since 2001, except for COVID, we have spent every year in California with my parents and extended family for Christmas. Our traditions there involved decorating the tree, going down to Naples and seeing the Christmas lights and trees in the harbor, Christmas cookie baking, sushi for Christmas Eve, sitting around the table while dad read The Night Before Christmas to the kids, and a leisurely Christmas Day spent cooking together (well, B and I cooked) while my folks hung out with us, listening to music and chatting.
When mom passed unexpectedly in 2023, dad wanted to distance himself from the fresh hurt at Christmas and came to spend time with us in Wisconsin, and then would head to spend some time in New Jersey with my brother and his family as well.
That has become a new tradition for us, and to be honest, it’s taken a couple of years to figure out what that looks like. A mentor of mine,
, said something incredibly impactful to me this year. Write from the scar, not from the wound. What a beautiful way to look not only at writing, but communication in general. The thing that I’ve learned about tradition is that it doesn’t have to be rigid; it can evolve and become a new, beautiful thing with an essence of the old.I hadn’t planned on this being my post this week, but it is what bubbled forward. I leave you with a beloved holiday recipe of my mom’s that can still be found in the green recipe box.
Until next time,
Hello friend! My name is Amy. I am so happy you have stopped by ✨ If you are new here, a warm welcome to you! This space is where I meander through midlife, connecting to my true self through the seasonal shifts and simpler living, and seeking my inner wise woman. If you are also on this path and looking for someone to walk gently beside you, I see you and am here. Let’s color outside the lines together.